Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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