idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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