I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
