my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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