hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
