Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
