i don't like sucking hair
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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