Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
