Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
