Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
