I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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