im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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