My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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