I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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