If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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