Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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