you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
