He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
