Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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