i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
