I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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