I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
