I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
