Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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