I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
you had me at cake vodka
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
is it fun? or sober?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
