Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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