i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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