I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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