its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
