The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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