I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
