According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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