I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
