Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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