You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
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