Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
