some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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