just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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