I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
