better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
last night I used snow as a chaser
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
