I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
