Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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