I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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