:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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