I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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