I think I won the penis lottery.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
