I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
