I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
