I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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