I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I have fence marks all over my body
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
